A Shaman ~ My Friend, My Healing

Today I was privileged to be the recipient of a reiki session with a dear friend who is a Celtic shaman and reiki master.

What an incredible experience!!! Her reiki was gentle and soothing much like herself. A beautiful CD of Sanskrit chanting quietly played in the background as we began. I felt myself falling deeper and deeper into that lovely place where nothing matters but the energy. As I went deeper, I went back through life after life until I found myself on a crystal clear lake with a woman in a white robe. She was familiar to me as I was to learn she was me, a powerful healer around the time of the Druids.

After our session, we discussed what she had felt and seen. She explained how she saw that I "swallowed" my emotions which is so true. Being raised in a highly religious home, sexuality was a taboo subject, good girls didn't do it and always waited till marriage. We were raised with the fear of going to hell and the judgement of what church friends would think if we stepped out of line. 

Consequently although I have undergone a massive healing over the past few years, there is still much to be healed. Acknowledging this is my first step. Having swallowed down emotions and not speaking my truths, I have developed physical symptoms which are my clue that I must heal this part of my psyche. Many, many, problems in and around my sacral and root chakra, digestive problems, years and years of issues with my reproductive system, multiple miscarriages, followed by surgeries to remove all of my reproductive organs. By repressing my emotions, I developed a hiatus hernia along with gastric reflux. So I realize that in order to physically heal, I must accept and love myself back to health. 

This I can and will accomplish ...

Following our beautiful session, I sat peacefully all afternoon co-creating with Spirit.

Healing

Her hands gently touch my face
The hands of this beautiful soul sister 

I feel the energy flow

Slowly at first, then faster and harder

My body and soul cries out for this energy

Dark, primal thoughts assault my senses

Ancient memories intrude

As past lives float in and out of my consciousness
On a crystal, glass lake I drift ~ I see a woman in a white robe
I am her and she is me
I am floating, I am rocking, I am pulsing 

The energy is soft, the energy is hard

It is gentle, it is everywhere 

My dreams are constantly interrupted

As my body tries to clear the blocks

I will myself to control my body's movements 

But they are stronger than my will

Muscles jump and my torso spasms
"Let the energies flow" I hear again and again

Now I sense her hands moving through my chakras

They are on me, in me, going through me

Our hearts beat as one as her soul lays gently on mine
And the energy opens, releases and clears the blocks

Throughout my body

Sweet, pure love is what I sense

Flowing through the hands of this woman I love

I have known her before, we are bound through our life experiences

The love is pulsing and beating to my very core

To the part of me that wants to stay hidden
It is awoken, crying out "heal me"

I am a goddess, I am divine
I am a healer and have healed

Through many, many lives
I see again the woman in white robes, we are one
A healer, a priestess, she walks through my mind
I am becoming who I was born to be
But first I must embrace myself ~ all of me
My spiritual, my emotional and my physical
Embrace my feminine self, my sexuality
Release the guilt, the deep dark parts of me
The parts I keep secret

Acknowledge, accept and release my shame

Lovingly accept all of me

Forgiving myself as I continue the healing journey

Towards this magnificent woman, in love with herself and her life

Always remembering ~ I am worthy ...

Human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind .... William James

The illusion holds power over you when you are not able to remember that you are a powerful spirit that has taken on the physical experience for the purpose of learning .... Gary Zukov

Spiritualism and Ego

Ego has been a recurring theme in my life of late. I have been confronted over and over again with egoic reactions from spiritual people that I had elevated to a higher position than maybe I should have. I have looked up to these mentors / spiritual advisors and in doing so have erred by elevating them to a status higher than myself. And when those foundations cracked it shattered me.

Even in my own life I find my own reactions to different circumstances and accomplishments nudge my ego and wake it up. But by recognizing my ego' whispers, I quickly re-adjust my thought process and allow humility to be my driving force rather than an egoic centre.

I am not saying that we should discard ego or remove it entirely from our personality which theoretically is not possible, but allowing it to rule our thoughts gets us into trouble again and again.

The spiritual and newly awakened world has experienced rapid growth in the last few years and that growth has opened an avenue for big business. Should we allow ourselves to fall into that trap of putting business ahead of what we are here to accomplish, be it healing, spiritual counsel, etc... In my opinion our consciousness, spirituality and healing abilities should take a front seat and put the dollar in the back. I agree there should be an exchange of energy and money is a form of energy, but must we assign a dollar figure to every single gift we offer. If someone in need of food knocks at your door but has no money to pay, do you turn them away or do you feed them? I feel the same applies to spiritual feeding. If someone is spiritually or emotionally needy but cannot afford your fee, embrace them and give what you can. Jesus said, "It is more blessed to give than receive." And when you give, do so with love and an open heart. From my own experience giving always brings back more than you need.

Raising ourselves to our highest possible vibrations, we influence others simply through our energetic field. Did you know that when your energetic vibrations are high, they can travel up to 400 feet outside your body? Imagine what this world would be like if everyone had beautifully high energetic vibrations. The old lovefests back in Woodstock days would seem minuscule compared to the worldwide lovefest we would generate!!!

But I digress, back to ego. Our efforts need to be directed at expanding the ego, not enlarging it. Note the words I use here ~ expanding not enlarging. An expanded ego is free of blame, judgement, arrogance, piety, self-loathing and becomes like an ocean, ever expanding so the surging waters of the spirit can reach the farthest shores. An enlarged ego is one that defines itself solely by external stimuli and is empty of self-love and self-esteem.

Our soul longing can sometimes turn into infinite wanting and our need to shine becomes a narrow minded me-focus. Our soul's freedom is therefore (re)discovered when we relax our infinite wanting and face our deeper desire. Our soul's beauty is (re)discovered when we relax our me-focus and trust in our spontaneity. So our 'higher' and 'lower' self are not two separate beings in one person. They are simply two different ways that we deal with our personality. If you live from your ego you live purely within yourself, but, if you live from your soul, you are living in love. And to live in love is to live ~

And so it is ....