A Shaman ~ My Friend, My Healing

Today I was privileged to be the recipient of a reiki session with a dear friend who is a Celtic shaman and reiki master.

What an incredible experience!!! Her reiki was gentle and soothing much like herself. A beautiful CD of Sanskrit chanting quietly played in the background as we began. I felt myself falling deeper and deeper into that lovely place where nothing matters but the energy. As I went deeper, I went back through life after life until I found myself on a crystal clear lake with a woman in a white robe. She was familiar to me as I was to learn she was me, a powerful healer around the time of the Druids.

After our session, we discussed what she had felt and seen. She explained how she saw that I "swallowed" my emotions which is so true. Being raised in a highly religious home, sexuality was a taboo subject, good girls didn't do it and always waited till marriage. We were raised with the fear of going to hell and the judgement of what church friends would think if we stepped out of line. 

Consequently although I have undergone a massive healing over the past few years, there is still much to be healed. Acknowledging this is my first step. Having swallowed down emotions and not speaking my truths, I have developed physical symptoms which are my clue that I must heal this part of my psyche. Many, many, problems in and around my sacral and root chakra, digestive problems, years and years of issues with my reproductive system, multiple miscarriages, followed by surgeries to remove all of my reproductive organs. By repressing my emotions, I developed a hiatus hernia along with gastric reflux. So I realize that in order to physically heal, I must accept and love myself back to health. 

This I can and will accomplish ...

Following our beautiful session, I sat peacefully all afternoon co-creating with Spirit.

Healing

Her hands gently touch my face
The hands of this beautiful soul sister 

I feel the energy flow

Slowly at first, then faster and harder

My body and soul cries out for this energy

Dark, primal thoughts assault my senses

Ancient memories intrude

As past lives float in and out of my consciousness
On a crystal, glass lake I drift ~ I see a woman in a white robe
I am her and she is me
I am floating, I am rocking, I am pulsing 

The energy is soft, the energy is hard

It is gentle, it is everywhere 

My dreams are constantly interrupted

As my body tries to clear the blocks

I will myself to control my body's movements 

But they are stronger than my will

Muscles jump and my torso spasms
"Let the energies flow" I hear again and again

Now I sense her hands moving through my chakras

They are on me, in me, going through me

Our hearts beat as one as her soul lays gently on mine
And the energy opens, releases and clears the blocks

Throughout my body

Sweet, pure love is what I sense

Flowing through the hands of this woman I love

I have known her before, we are bound through our life experiences

The love is pulsing and beating to my very core

To the part of me that wants to stay hidden
It is awoken, crying out "heal me"

I am a goddess, I am divine
I am a healer and have healed

Through many, many lives
I see again the woman in white robes, we are one
A healer, a priestess, she walks through my mind
I am becoming who I was born to be
But first I must embrace myself ~ all of me
My spiritual, my emotional and my physical
Embrace my feminine self, my sexuality
Release the guilt, the deep dark parts of me
The parts I keep secret

Acknowledge, accept and release my shame

Lovingly accept all of me

Forgiving myself as I continue the healing journey

Towards this magnificent woman, in love with herself and her life

Always remembering ~ I am worthy ...

Human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind .... William James

The illusion holds power over you when you are not able to remember that you are a powerful spirit that has taken on the physical experience for the purpose of learning .... Gary Zukov

Spiritualism and Ego

Ego has been a recurring theme in my life of late. I have been confronted over and over again with egoic reactions from spiritual people that I had elevated to a higher position than maybe I should have. I have looked up to these mentors / spiritual advisors and in doing so have erred by elevating them to a status higher than myself. And when those foundations cracked it shattered me.

Even in my own life I find my own reactions to different circumstances and accomplishments nudge my ego and wake it up. But by recognizing my ego' whispers, I quickly re-adjust my thought process and allow humility to be my driving force rather than an egoic centre.

I am not saying that we should discard ego or remove it entirely from our personality which theoretically is not possible, but allowing it to rule our thoughts gets us into trouble again and again.

The spiritual and newly awakened world has experienced rapid growth in the last few years and that growth has opened an avenue for big business. Should we allow ourselves to fall into that trap of putting business ahead of what we are here to accomplish, be it healing, spiritual counsel, etc... In my opinion our consciousness, spirituality and healing abilities should take a front seat and put the dollar in the back. I agree there should be an exchange of energy and money is a form of energy, but must we assign a dollar figure to every single gift we offer. If someone in need of food knocks at your door but has no money to pay, do you turn them away or do you feed them? I feel the same applies to spiritual feeding. If someone is spiritually or emotionally needy but cannot afford your fee, embrace them and give what you can. Jesus said, "It is more blessed to give than receive." And when you give, do so with love and an open heart. From my own experience giving always brings back more than you need.

Raising ourselves to our highest possible vibrations, we influence others simply through our energetic field. Did you know that when your energetic vibrations are high, they can travel up to 400 feet outside your body? Imagine what this world would be like if everyone had beautifully high energetic vibrations. The old lovefests back in Woodstock days would seem minuscule compared to the worldwide lovefest we would generate!!!

But I digress, back to ego. Our efforts need to be directed at expanding the ego, not enlarging it. Note the words I use here ~ expanding not enlarging. An expanded ego is free of blame, judgement, arrogance, piety, self-loathing and becomes like an ocean, ever expanding so the surging waters of the spirit can reach the farthest shores. An enlarged ego is one that defines itself solely by external stimuli and is empty of self-love and self-esteem.

Our soul longing can sometimes turn into infinite wanting and our need to shine becomes a narrow minded me-focus. Our soul's freedom is therefore (re)discovered when we relax our infinite wanting and face our deeper desire. Our soul's beauty is (re)discovered when we relax our me-focus and trust in our spontaneity. So our 'higher' and 'lower' self are not two separate beings in one person. They are simply two different ways that we deal with our personality. If you live from your ego you live purely within yourself, but, if you live from your soul, you are living in love. And to live in love is to live ~

And so it is ....

Home

Last night, after years of study and working my way through this beautiful journey of Reiki, I was honoured and blessed to be attuned and given the title of Reiki Master/Teacher.

I have no words, but afterwards I was given the opportunity to co-create these words with Spirit. I am so incredibly honoured and humbled to have reached this level and now the thought of being able to share this amazing gift with others through teaching brings me to my knees.

Home

The elusive dream, there but not seen

Just beyond my reach

If I stretch out my hand, can I grasp it?

Chasing after it for a lifetime

But never reaching it

But then with the touch of one hand

It is there, in front of me

I sense it, I see it, I hear it, I feel it ....

"Oh precious one, do you see the staircase?

Breathe deeply and begin your climb"

As I inhale beautiful, life giving air into every cell
I begin my ascension
In front of a magnificent door I stop and wonder
Should I push through into the unknown?

As it opens, all the beauty I have ever imagined

Is there, right in front of me
Assaulting my eyes with incomprehensible beauty, colour and light

"Take it in dear one" I hear them say

You have earned this gift

My eyes are blinded with the magnificence 

Of what is revealed to me

I am humbled, can it be that I have really arrived

My angels and guides hold and support me

Holding me as I breathlessly take in the beauty

I stand in reverence as I am bathed in violet light

And now a rainbow of colour showers down on me

Thousand of love drops

Covering me in glorious colour

Making me whole as every cell absorbs this healing colour

"Give us you hands" and as I do

They gently place within them my gift

Then they gently lead me back through the door

Back down the staircase, back to reality

But I'll never forget that moment

When I came home .....

Sound Healing

Today I had the privilege of participating in a workshop for vibrational sound healing using Tibetan singing bowls. A small group where a few played bowls and we all chanted in Sanskrit, both silently and out loud.

What a deeply moving experience, relaxing and beautiful meditations, detoxification and healing at a cellular level.

There are so many methods you can utilize to heal and this one I had never tried, but after the four hours of chanting, while listening, breathing and absorbing the beautiful tones of the bowls, I feel lighter today and experienced a physical detoxification last night.

Upon arriving at home, I found myself hearing these words which I of course, was compelled to record.

Take This

As the striker circles the rim of the bowl

Its song is released

Resonant with vibrations felt deep in my body

With tones as pure as celestial choirs

In unison we begin to chant

"Om Gum Shrim Maha Lakshmi Yei Swaha"

We set our intentions and the healing begins

I close my eyes, the energy flows

Once again I whisper the words

"Om Gum Shrim Maha Lakshmi Yei Swaha

There is magic in the air, an atmosphere of love

In my minds eye, there is a rainbow of colours

Surrounding me with many shades and hues

They whisper to me in the language of love

Bathing me in violets, golds and blue

The room where I sit has faded away
The chanting and tones are not part of this world
As I am joined by other souls

They circle me speaking words only I can hear

They stretch their arms out to me imploring me to "Take this"

I don't understand ~ their chanting intensifies

Once again they implore me, "Take this" 

I sense their departure, yet I still do not know

What they want me to take

Then the scene starts to fade

And I return to my senses, once again I hear the chanting

The vibrations of the singing bowls are in rhythm with my body

I'm slowly returning, feeling myself, my body, my breath, my heartbeat

My awareness takes in the others surrounding me

As they too return to their senses

After this deeply moving sound healing 
Which I take ....

My Body ~ My Temple

As I continue to open on this amazing spiritual awakening I have been gifted, my emotions have been turned upside down. I have healed many but still continue to work healing many others. Now, I find myself in great need of healing my body.

For my entire life, I have used food to comfort, to fill a void, to love myself when I felt unloved. But no more. I must look at my body as the sacred temple that houses my most beautiful soul. I must remember, it is a temporary housing that must regularly be cared for so that it will provide the needed strength to carry me through this lifetime.

Let us for a moment think about where we physically live. If our home developed a leak ~ would we not have it attended to immediately to prevent further damage. If our homes heating system broke down ~ would we not arrange to have it repaired so it would provide the necessary warmth in frigid winter temperatures. If a window was smashed ~ would we not replace it in order to keep what belongs on the outside in its place and protect the valuable loved ones inside. The same applies to my body, my temple ~ maintaining it should not be an afterthought which for my lifetime it has been.

So how will I change my thought processes and reach my ultimate goal of good health.

The first is discipline upon which I must work on to help me accomplish my goal. No more food to fill a void, no more eating just because.

The second is cravings. Here I will put my discipline to the ultimate test in fighting my cravings, looking deeply within as to why I constantly crave a certain type of food. What emotion drives me again and again to these empty, sugary food products? And what emotions are these products fuelling? What, if anything are they doing for me besides damaging the delicate balance of my health?

The third is to look at my food as the building blocks that will provide the needed energy for my body while honouring it. By not ingesting foods with lower vibrations, I honour my temple and allow it to grow into the strong body it should and will be.

This will be the hardest part yet of this amazing journey, as I have fed this body excesses of carbohydrates and sugars. So changing to a whole food approach, saying goodbye to these empty foods will take copious amounts of discipline, but I feel prepared for this challenge. The high energies this year with it's many super-moons has provided me quiet, down time where I have slowed myself and listened to the messages provided from spirit, many of which have been directly about my physical health and how I care for myself. I intend to enjoy my best possible health in these senior years and will continue working to reverse the damages I have caused through poor eating habits.

So, wish me luck as I slowly embark on this new and most difficult phase of my journey. Reminding myself each day that I AM WORTHY and that I am in my best possible health while making every effort to become the amazing woman I know I can be.

Here's to all our good health ...

The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison ... Ann Wigmore

Eat beautiful foods, which are nutritionally dense, wholesome, and natural ... Bryant McGill

You are what you eat, what would like to be ... Julie Murphy 

Autumn

Autumn ~ one of my favourite seasons. How magnificent are the colours which Mother Nature paints the landscape for us. The cacophony of colours delights our senses. Our eyes enjoy the visual beauty, our smell breathes in the fresh air and scent of pine and forest must, we listen to the busyness of creatures and woodlands alike preparing for their deep sleep, and our taste delights in the bite of a crisp autumn apple, or the spicy gastronomic delight of a pumpkin pie.

Take some time this autumn to go into the forest, ground yourself and feel the earth beneath your feet. Allow the synchronicity of the forests' natural energies to embrace you, tuning you into her rhythm.

Sleep

A riot of colours collide with my vision

Golds, reds, orange and russet

The leaves are transforming

As their succulent greens slowly fade

Replaced by a cacophony of brilliant colours

This colourful change signals a deep sleep

For these gentle giants as they prepare for winter

When all slows down with the rhythm of the season

But for now, I will sit and watch

As nature paints the landscape 

Like a water colour painting, I watch as golds drip into reds

Many shades and hues of colour cascade from the trees

Delighting my senses, enticing me to stay

To sit a little longer and embrace this beauty

Before the trees sleep under the coming blanket of snow

The little forest creatures skitter here and there

Gathering their foods for the winter ahead

Tucking an acorn here, a nut there

In places only they remember to go back and collect 

Foods to sustain them when the grips of winter sets in 

In the creeks and rivers 

The fish have burrowed down into the mud

Below the frigid waters that will soon solidify

Thus ensuring their survival for yet another winter

Stopping, I listen 

As the leaves are gently falling,
Falling as though they were in love with the ground

On a breath of air they sway to and fro

As they slowly come to rest

Now they will begin a new journey

Transforming from beautiful, colourful leaves

Into nutrients feeding the earth

In preparation for it's new life

The promise of spring

But for now

I watch this activity

As creatures and woodlands 

Together prepare

For their coming

Sleep ....

Autumn ~ the years last, loveliest smile ... William Cullen Bryant 

Every leaf speaks bliss to me, fluttering from the autumn tree ...  Emily Bronte

Dance Our Way Home

Recently I attended a workshop on a style of dancing developed by Erica Ross in Toronto, Ontario for Sheena house providing support for women with eating disorders. Here is their website if you would like to read more about this program.  http://www.danceourwayhome.com

What an incredible experience. Allowing our bodies to move to the music, the way they innately want to, not the way society dictates. The energies in the room last night were palpable, I felt as though I was adrift on them. After release and free dance we move to dance with another woman in the circle. Here we maintained eye contact with them throughout the entire dance. This was without a doubt one of the hardest things I have ever done, for deep within their eyes I found myself.

We are all born divinely radiant, non judgemental and in love with ourselves, but constraints and societal opinions are brought to bear eventually pushing our radiance and true loving self into hiding. Dance Our Way Home (DOWH) affords women the opportunity to reconnect to their divinely radiant self in a safe, non judgemental space through freedom of expression. Rules and restrictions or guidelines ~ there are none. If my soul calls for release through chanting, yelling, laughing, crying, if my body wants to sway a certain way, I do and did.

As a Reiki, last night I was channeling energy so intensely. As we all connected, I could feel the energy I was channeling moving around the room to each of these women as we connected deeply within our souls ~ an intensely intimate experience.

Upon a arriving home, I decided to meditate for a while and these words were given to me ....

Divinely, Radiant, Feminine Woman

I am a woman, a goddess

I am the universe ~ I am divine

I am love and life

I am everything

I share love unconditionally

No expectations I place

My heart is open and laid bare

On the table of life

Moments of introspection

Are precious to me

Meditation opens a new world

As I re-connect to the divine feminine

To my radiance which was my birthright

We are one connected by our hearts

Gaze deeply into my eyes

And you'll find yourself there

At the core of my being

In the depths of my heart

There you reside my love

We are powerful, the creators of life

In our woman's belly we nurture this life

Embrace your beauty, love your woman's belly

This place where life begins and miracles happen

And accept 

I embrace my oneness with the Universe

And the Universal divine power

I am divine ~ we are divine

As one we can change the world

And so it is ....

Summers Fading Beauty

As summer is slowly winding down, I find myself feeling melancholy knowing that all too soon nature will let go of life and pull into itself as the harshness of winter moves in, dumping voluminous blankets of white over everything. The little creatures that skitter about my garden will go deep underground to sleep away the winter. Squirrels are busy collecting and as I watch, they stop, dig a wee hole in my lawn and deposit their treasure for a winter meal. When snow blankets the ground, I wonder, will they remember where they buried their treasure?

I sit quietly in my garden and watch the odd leaves that have changed colour slowly let go of the tree, gently sailing down, drifting back and forth on the slight air currents.

There is a sense of urgency in the air ~ sub zero temperatures and a blanket of white will be upon us in the blink of an eye. There is much to be done in preparation.

But for now, let me peacefully sit while I enjoy the last whispers of summer.

Nature

I sit in the beauty of nature

The birds serenade me with their beautiful voices

The bees flit from blossom to blossom

Collecting their pollen and nectar

The clouds tumble by

Blown to and fro by gentle summer breezes

Rolling and tumbling as they change

From a whispy tendril to a fire breathing dragon

A cacophony of colour delights my eyes

Goldenrod, sumac, daisies

Popping up here and there amidst the waving fields of grasses

Whispering in the breeze

Sharing their secrets with me

I must listen closely to hear their stories

The creek meanders by

With little creatures in tow

Delicate water plants wave their fingers and arms

In the current, like tiny dancers

Other small creatures stop by the edge

For a drink to sustain them through their daily journey

But then my communion with nature is broken

As the sounds of human life bustles hither and yon

In the distance a horn sounds, a siren wails

A lawnmower rumbles in preparation to tailor a lawn

I'll tuck these perfect moments away in my memories

And come back to my garden once again tomorrow 

I'll enjoy the peace before the world once again intrudes

On the sounds of silence ...

Morning Meditations

Last weekend I was privileged to spend time on a beautiful lake located in the area of Ontario known as the Canadian Shield. A beautiful part of our province with massive out croppings of granite that rise up out of the ground like giant monoliths.

As I sat on a dock in the lake, I looked up towards the massive hills surrounding the cottage and the awesome sight of these boulders that were everywhere. Evergreen trees grow up wherever they can find a scrap of soil in the crack of a rock. The cottage was even beautifully built around those same boulders, weaving stairs and pathways around the massive protuberances. The deck surrounding the cottage was beautifully built around a large piece of granite without altering it. This home was a beautiful example of living in harmony with nature.

And what a magnificent location to enjoy meditation, my reiki and communion.

Morning Voices

The house still sleeps as I steal down to the lake

In the stillness of the early morning

I gingerly step out onto the walkway 

That will take me to the dock, where completely surrounded by water

I see the mist swirling and curling 

It's way 'round the trees and rocks like a serpents tongue 

Before it settles down over the surface of the water

Laying down to rest before its' ultimate dissolution

The quietness of the morning

Wraps me in an embrace

And takes me to that familiar, blissful place

Where I can slip into meditation

Blissfully peaceful ~ no thoughts, no feelings

I let the energies flow around and through me
Reiki speaks to me, "Place your hands and let me flow"

In these quiet moments, I hear their voices

As they move through the mists and whisper their secrets to me

"Don't go to sleep, we have much to share with you"
When I close my eyes, their faces I perceive
Although the world yet sleeps

These energies do not as they surround and flow through me
Sharing the words I need to hear

To continue in my journey

Now their voices begin to fade

The energies begin to quiet as the world awakens
The sun breaks through the darkness

The waters' mirror like surface gives a second sun

As a loons call cracks through my silence

Now I emerge from my peacefulness

Slowly coming back to to the world

I hear the gulls crying above

As if to wake all those yet sleeping 

Slight ripples and waves lap against the dock

Gently rocking me as I still sit in peaceful reverie

I feel alive and invigorated

After this joining with nature

My oneness with all things living and gone

My psychic abilities awakened and fine tuned

I come back to my body, my senses awake

As I face this magnificent day I've been gifted

With gratitude, acceptance and love

Quiet the mind and the soul will speak .... Majaya Sati Bhagaviti

Life is available only in the moment ... Thich Nhat Hanh

Adopt the pace of nature ~ her secret is patience ... Ralph Waldo Emerson

Healers Need Healing Too

What an incredible few years this has been as I journey forward with my Reiki and now awakening my abilities as Shaman, mentoring with a beautiful soul ~ a Celtic Shaman. How privileged I am to have had these gifts awakened in me.

However even as one who shares these abilities with others on their healing journeys, we as healers are human too, we can be hurt, we cry, we feel pain, we feel loss. And we need to learn how to channel these situations into a learning experience so we may grow and move forward to even greater possibilities.

Early this year I went through a major surgery which traumatized my body and I am still, even seven months later working towards a full recovery. On the heels of that physical trauma, I suffered an emotional loss which left me shattered and fragile. I worked through it, releasing, cutting emotional cords and releasing some more. Or so I thought, until very recently when during meditations I was shown that my lower chakras ~ solar plexus, sacral and root were closed and not spinning. How shocked I was to learn this after having worked so hard to remove blocks and clear out many locked emotions. As I worked through this, it was also revealed to me that this was playing a major role in my healing process. As I said in a earlier blog post ~ in order for your life force to flow unimpeded, chakras must be open. Like a river that is blocked with debris, if even one chakra is closed, life force energies (Qi) cannot flow.

I had not realized how deeply this wound had cut me. So deeply in fact that I continued to hold onto an unreasonable fear deep in my gut that others with whom I shared a deep bond might also break my heart and trust, once again leaving me shattered. So now in order to move forward into my true potential, I must spend time in meditations and self healing to release this unreasonable fear, thereby allowing my sacral and root chakras to reopen allowing my beautiful Qi to flow once again.

Healing

The healing road is long and rough

A winding road with many turns
And seemingly insurmountable mountains

Along the way ~ 

Will I ever reach the end?

I thought I had healed after years of hard work

My chakras had opened, in harmony they spun

My heart wall came down, emotions released

I was strong, but then a trust was broken

As was my heart

Like a sail with no wind, I was empty

My trust shattered like fragile glass

How do I let go, how do I move on?
Cutting the emotional cords that bind us together

This loss of friendship and energies

Cut deeply into my soul

Can I trust I will have that love and bond again?

Dare I let myself go, allow someone else in

If I invest my all

Will I be shattered again?

Suddenly I knew, everything was different

My chakras were closed

Energies didn't flow as they had, physical pain had increased
In vain I searched for the path to come back

Should I let down my guard, share my emotions

What if I'm hurt again 

But then in the quiet of my meditations

I heard a voice speak softly to me

Remember dear heart ~ this is a gift

Embrace the pain, feel the pain, process the pain

And be open ~ there are lessons to be learned

Leave the hurts of the past behind you

And move into this moment

Use the hurt to strengthen your resolve

To stay true to your path 

Your destiny is as a powerful healer 

Sharing this gift with many
You will endure heartbreak and pain

And suffering is part of the path you must walk

Take the time to learn to heal yourself 

Acknowledge this and know you will heal

And in this knowledge you will become stronger

Allow the flow of energies to heal you and open your chakras

And rest in the knowledge that all is well and

Perfect ~

The wound is the place where the Light enters you 
... Rumi

The emotion that can break your heart, is sometimes the very one that can heal it 
... Nicolas Sparks

Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us 
... David Richo

Global Meditation

Yesterday I had the privilege of joining over 100,000 people in a global meditation as we joined our energies together to send our intentions of peace throughout the world.

There are no words to describe the sensations I felt as we were led in a beautiful meditation by Deepak Chopra and Gabby Bernstein. India Arie sang her beautiful new song, "I Am Light" as we all joined together in meditation.

Deepak asked as he gently started the meditation, "what does peace mean to you?" A difficult question when I ponder it on a larger scale, but in just my own soul, it means a state of mind to me. Peaceful acceptance of everything in my life, my circumstances, my sufferings, my relationships, my gifts, my thoughts.

The meditation itself was lovely, I was instantly engulfed by multiple energies swirling around my body. Thousands of different energies laid bare my heart chakra with pulse after pulse. It truly was an amazing experience to meditate simultaneously with that many people across the world at one time.

And to be guided through it by Deepak Chopra ~ incredible.

Thousands of energies

Coming together for peace

I lay in solitude

As I give myself over

To the beautiful voice

That soothes my soul

And lulls me into that quiet place

In my soul

What does peace mean to you?

It quietly asks as I breathe in and out

Focus on that peace

Let it surround you and then send it

Out into the world

I feel my heart pulsing

I feel energies rushing through me and around me

A sensation of togetherness 

The beauty of thousands of souls joining together

As one ~

I drift in my peaceful environment

As I send my peaceful intentions to the world

Then I hear the voice

That quietly brings me back from my reverie

Suddenly, I am emotionally overwhelmed

As tears spill down my face

I can still feel my heart pulsing

To the beat of a thousand other hearts

They cannot be controlled

I am overwhelmed with gratitude

For this moment in time

When I was able to offer

Something back

My peace, my love, my all ...

We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves ... Dalai Lama

Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding .... Albert Einstein

Peace comes from within, do not seek it without ... Buddha

Be Still

This magnificent journey I am being led on takes me down many new roads, one of which has been writing.

I sit with pen in hand and let the spirits lead me where they will. Afterwards as I read, I am surprised at the beauty of the words that have flowed from my hand ....

All is chaos
Everything swirls around me
Like a maelstrom
That threatens to pull me down
Into it's depths where I will be lost

My soul in agony cries for release
From its' physical constraints
"Let me take the lead", it cries
"And if you follow
I will bring you home"

"I see my destination
I hear the spirits calling to me
If you will let me answer
I will show you the way"

I must leave the chaos behind
Pull myself from this maelstrom
Which threatens my very existence
The physical dis-ease which plagues my every waking moment
Cries to be released from this body

But then I sense a stillness and peace
Somewhere deep within my soul
A deep thirst cries to be satisfied
I reach out to grasp that which cannot be confined

The size is beyond my comprehension
No borders, no boundaries
Real but unreal
I must possess this feeling

Now, everything else drops away
My soul is suddenly released
The chrysalis that once held this butterfly
Has broken open ~ I am released
I have won my freedom ~ I can fly

To a place of peace, to a place of love
To a place of complete contentment
Were they always there?
In front of me, but unseen by these eyes

I have arrived
I am love and peace
I am complete contentment
I am everything that was, is and will be
I have learned ~ to be still

Suffering ~ The Ultimate Teacher

As humans we are at some point in our lives going to suffer. It could be physically or emotionally or both.

When we ponder the subject of suffering, naturally questions arise, why do some suffer more than others, why do children suffer, why must the elderly frequently suffer as they approach death? As physical beings we cannot answer these questions, so we use our reasoning. We experience a death, so naturally we expect we will suffer grief, we are stricken with a disease, therefore it must have been our unhealthy lifestyles, we struggle with depression, it must therefore be the stress brought on by career, family or poor life choices.

But what if we turn the tables on suffering and not look at it as a burden but a gift. Let us not equate suffering with the physical egotistical body, but rather a gift bestowed divinely as a path through which we may learn valuable life lessons, practice humility and tolerance and most of all to learn empathy.

Eckhart Tolle says, "Suffering drives you deeper. The paradox is that suffering is caused by identification with form and erodes identification with form. A lot of it is caused by the ego, although eventually suffering destroys the ego ~ but not until you suffer consciously. Humanity is destined to go beyond suffering, but not in the way the ego thinks.

One of the ego's many erroneous assumptions, one of its many deluded thoughts is "I should not have to suffer." Sometimes the thought gets transferred to someone close to you: "My child should not have to suffer." That thought itself lies at the root of suffering.

Suffering has a noble purpose: the evolution of consciousness and the burning up of the ego. The man on the cross is an archetypal image. He is every man and every woman. As long as you resist suffering, it is a slow process because the resistance creates more ego to burn up.

When you accept suffering, however, there is an acceleration of that process which is brought about by the fact that you suffer consciously. You can accept suffering for yourself, or you can accept it for someone else, such as your child or parent.

In the midst of conscious suffering there is already the transmutation. The FIRE of suffering becomes the LIGHT of consciousness."

As we allow our consciousness to go deeper into our suffering, we become more attuned to our soul ~ our inner light if you will. We start to recognize that the suffering serves to deepen our connection to our spirituality and the Divine. 

Oh yes, there are great lessons to be learned from suffering and great gifts to share once we accept it. But don't fall prey to the notion that you are your suffering. Do not allow your suffering to identify who you truly are. And do not let your suffering snuff out your beautiful inner light. 

Become the student, sit at the foot of your pain, allow it to be your teacher and guide as you navigate through the waters to the true awakening of your spirit.

The beauty of Reiki, meditation, yoga or other methods of deep healing within can help you in your journey towards acceptance.

With blessings and light, I wish for you that suffer to be able move towards acceptance and calm as you open to the guidance and lessons that await you ~

The depth of learning is in direct relation to the intensity of the experience ... Robert Monroe 

Always know and remember that you are more than your physical body ... Robert Monroe 

What About After Life

Do you ever ponder the great hereafter?

Were you raised in an atmosphere where you were taught to believe that there is a heaven, hell and a mighty God able to strike terror into the heart of his own and who sits on his throne condemning sinners to hell.

Having come through a magnificent spiritual awakening, I have spent much time in discussion, personal research, considerable soul searching and thought. After reading numerous books on the topic of near death experience and life after death, I now lovingly embrace the belief of a Divine creator, one who does not sit in judgement, but welcomes all into an unconditional loving embrace after life ends here. Upon completion of our journey on earth, we will all transition back to the energy source from which we originally came. We came from unconditional love and we will return to unconditional love. 

But what if a person here on earth chooses to commit heinous crimes? What happens to his soul/energy?

When we incarnate into our body, we contracted or chose our parents and our life experiences during our time on earth. What lessons we need to learn directly reflect the life we choose. So what we choose to do between birth and death are predetermined by our soul contracts and also of our own free will. The soul incarnates as needed in order to learn from the world and develop to its' highest possible potential at which time the soul ascends.

So what of final judgement? Judgement is a human concept, not Divine. Speaking with spiritual intuitive, Theresa Marcotte, she explained, "The concept of judging is very much a human perspective, bound by human rules and human understanding of right and wrong. Unfortunately when humans chose to view situations from a perspective of right vs wrong, good vs bad, they miss the bigger picture of understanding karmic lessons, life balancing, life experiences, soul expansion and the biggest of all, our eternal selves which never cease to exist." 

Take some time to contemplate death. This is one part of life from which there is no escaping. Accept your impermanence and from that will come an opening within you, which is beyond your physical form ~ your soul or energetic being. That part of us is not touched by death, the soul comes forward when you can completely accept the impermanence of your human body. Eckhart Tolle says to contemplate death ~ walk through a cemetery, read the names on headstones, see and feel the impermanence of life in this final resting place. Now you can realize that your human form is only a temporary home for your higher self, your magnificent soul which never dies. Allow it to lead you in this lifetime as you open to the infinite possibilities and abilities within yourself.

When you realize life is fleeting, it is but an illusion, you can come to a greater acceptance of what is. And know that upon completion of this journey, all souls will return to their original energetic form in a place of unconditional love.

I am but a pilgrim

Journeying in this world

Traveling through life experiences

As my days flow

From a place of love I came

And to a place of love I will return

 Learning lessons and growing

As I journey forward

My energy flows

With high vibrational frequencies 

Other souls on the same frequency

Flock to me ~ we've known each other

Long, long ago

I chose this journey

Before my birth

To achieve my full potential

And fulfill my destiny

I yearn for the day
When I'll return home
Safe into the arms
Of loved ones gone before

Oh the joy I'll embrace

When I experience unconditional love

Surrounding me, filling me, lifting me up

Sweeping me along in blissful peace

No pain, no worry

No need for words

We'll exchange love through our all knowing heart

I will be home .... B. Takeda

Everything that seemingly happens externally is occurring in order to trigger something within us, to expand us and take us back to who we truly are ... We are not these bodies; we're neither our accomplishments nor our possessions—we are all one with the Source of all being, which is God 
... Anita Moorjani

To know yourself as the Being underneath the thinker, the stillness underneath the mental noise, the love and joy underneath the pain, is freedom, salvation, enlightenment ... Eckhart Tolle

Friendship

A friendship ~ such a beautiful experience between two people. The honesty, the comfort, the joy and sorrows shared.

To love and be loved ~ To accept and be accepted ~ What greater gift is there?

The love of a friend

Is such a precious gift

Which must be treasured

Nurtured and protected from harm

The feelings run deep
Like the ocean depths
Deeper and deeper they envelop my soul
Yet they feel so familiar
Have we been here before,
In another life, another time?

I treasure these moments
As my spirit takes flight
On the wings of an eagle
I experience such joy
When our moments we share together

Such moments are exquisite
When we open to each other
And lay bare our souls
Revealing our deepest thoughts
Exchanging our energy

Long before our souls took this shape
We gave our energy
Through powerful heart pulses
Communicating our thoughts, our feelings
No need for words
Our hearts were open to sharing

In our human forms
When a pulse is exchanged
It becomes an extraordinary experience
Bursting from one heart to another
The sensation is so strong
As I feel the energetic pulse move between us

I can hear and feel your heart beat

I can sense your strength

As I'm rocked by this pulse
Which was given in a moment

But kept for a lifetime

This friendship ~ such a surprise

As it grows between us

What drew us together

A simple connection or a deeper familiarity

Have I known you before?

Is this friendship

As delicate as a dried flower petal

Liable to break apart

Under the slightest pressure

I dare not hold too tightly

Or the petal may crumble

Oh dear friend

I keep you close to my heart

And pray you feel the same

May our friendship stand the test of time

And sustain us as we grow old together

These words are dedicated to friends all over the world who have each other's backs, who love unconditionally, who accept without question, who listen without judgement and who are always there. 

Just Be

The earth calls me ~ I step barefoot down onto her
And lay my body down
I allow a connection to grow between the earth and me
I feel her energy softly whisper to me
"Let me fill every fibre of your being"

As I lay there, I look into the cloudless sky
Searching for the answers
To the questions
That infiltrate my every waking thought

The mystery of the ages
Swirls through my memories
The knowledge of who I was
Before life decided who I should be
And my magnificence was shrouded

The little insects in the grass
Are disturbed by my intrusion into their world
They test the boundaries of my skin, my body
As they look for ways around this barrier which is me

I lay my hands upon the grass
And wiggle my fingers into her depths
I reach the cool earth at her base
And I feel her energy
As it courses through every fibre of my being

Now I hear the messages as they come
Like the endless waves of the ocean
"Ground yourself to Mother Earth
Allow her energy to strengthen you
Drink in the wisdom of the ages
Let it surround you, let it fill you, let it be your everything
Resurrect who you once were
Rediscover that which was buried
Allow your beautiful light to shine
Becoming your most magnificent self
And then ~ just be" ...

Can Good & Bad Coexist?

As I move further into my journey with Reiki, my spiritually becomes more of who I am at my core. The depth of my belief, forgiveness, acceptance, all encompassing unconditional love ~ this is what I strive to be daily.

I find myself drawn to others whose spiritual awakening matches mine.

Opening to others while a beautiful spiritual and learning experience can also present it's difficulties. What if the person you are opening to is a fraud, masquerading as spiritually awakened but still living in the third dimensional world? Or maybe they have awakened but family, friendships or career positions don't allow them to embrace their full spiritual potential. Their shadow self keeps the upper hand when in fact they need to maintain the upper hand and learn to coexist with their shadow self. British analyst Liz Greene points to the paradoxical nature of the shadow as both the container of darkness and the beacon pointing toward light. "The shadow is both the awful thing that needs redemption, and the suffering redeemer who can provide it."

"Beneath the social mask we wear every day, we have a hidden shadow side: an impulsive, wounded, sad, or isolated part that we generally try to ignore. The Shadow can be a source of emotional richness and vitality, and acknowledging it can be a pathway to healing and an authentic life. We meet our dark side, accept it for what it is, and we learn to use its powerful energies in productive ways. The Shadow knows why good people sometimes do "bad" things. Romancing the Shadow and learning to read the messages it encodes in daily life can deepen your consciousness, imagination, and soul." Connie Zwieg, PhD., and Steve Wolf, PhD.

It is a daily battle to overcome those negative emotions that threaten to undermine us ~ anger, resentment, jealousy, hatred, judgement, self loathing. There is constant self questioning ~ are we good enough, do we measure up, are we keeping up with our neighbours? When we look in the mirror, do we see our inner beautiful soul or only the image the mirror reflects back at us? And what do we say to that image in the mirror ~ You're ugly, you're fat, you're not good enough?

But you are good enough ~ you are worthy of love!!! But until we embrace this belief and love ourselves unconditionally, the third dimensional world along with our shadow self will continue calling our name and the more often you answer that call the tighter the hold.

It is a lifelong challenge learning to coexist with the shadow self. But the rewards can be immeasurable if we can accomplish this. The painful, deep parts of our psyche that lead to these negative behaviours will continue to take over your thoughts and behaviour unless you are willing to look at them, accept them as part of your consciousness, and then release the energy that you have wrapped up in them making it available for your spiritual growth.

I have spent over two years in my journey trying to eradicate negative emotions from my thought process, but recently I have discovered that they need to be brought into my consciousness, so I can learn the lessons they have to teach and work with them.

Spend time listening to the clues that you may hear again and again from family, friends, coworkers. They may shed light on the parts of you that need the most attention.

Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes ... Carl Jung

A feeling of aversion or attachment toward something is your clue that there's work to be done ... Ram Dass

When we are aware of our weaknesses or negative tendencies, we open the opportunity to work on them ... Allan Lokos

Writing Again

How I enjoy writing. When I put pen to paper I feel cleansed and healed as the words flow through me.

And so it goes ~

The pain of the past, simmering just beneath
The face she exposed to the world
Always there, churning and bubbling
Destroying her self esteem, her morals, her thoughts, her abilities
Deeper and deeper they went until she couldn't recognize them any longer.

What happened to this woman, what hurts, what pain, what grief
That left her wanting ~ health, happiness, freedom from the pain
How deep must she dig to release this pain
Can she find what she seeks?

She experienced abuse, she experienced death
She experienced the sting of betrayal
The bite of familial hatred
All working together to create that fertile ground for every negative emotion
Anger, resentment, self loathing, judgement, bitterness, envy
This girl was good for no-one.

Then one day ~ a change
She was brought to the edge but, could she take the next step
What was waiting beyond
Forgiveness, acceptance, self love, humility
All within her reach, yet could she release the past?

The cloaks of grief and depression were wrapped tightly around her
They had her locked within their grip
They comforted her, they eased her pain, they protected her from the world
Did she want to drop these crutches and walk ~ NO
But deep within she knew she must let them drop from her body as leaves must drop from the trees in autumn.

Shifting, awakening, changing at her core
Releasing ego, piety, anger, resentments
The list was painfully long
The pain was moving upwards and outwards ~ breaking the surface
Wearing her down, reminding her of the horrors.

How low were her vibrations
But now they were climbing
She felt the difference in her soul
She loved, she laughed, she embraced the wholeness of life.

Reiki became part of her journey
Introduced to her one winter solstice night
She felt the pulsing energy and knew she had come home
Her searching was over
Like a rosebud opening to the sunshine, she too was opening.

The fear of death now gone ~ replaced with peaceful acceptance
The horrors of a cruel God replaced with a Divine Source of unconditional love
She pondered her lives, previous and yet to come
How many lives had she lived, how many more would she live?
What gifts had she given, what gifts had she to offer the world?

A new life was hers ~ it was within her reach
The hurts now gone, replaced with unconditional all encompassing love
How could she have existed so long not in this state
Unaware ~ living but not living
Reiki had brought her this joy
She would forever be grateful for that winter solstice night
When she felt the energy in that hand in her shoulder
Waking her, changing her core, filling her up
She truly had come home ...

Growing

As my emotional and physical health heals and my spirituality increases on this incredible journey I've been on for two years, I find myself often driven to write. My connections to Source, to the Divine and to my true self grow stronger.

This post is a little different today. This afternoon after a lovely visit with a spiritual friend, the words spilled out, but in prose this time. I felt led to share my thoughts and words ....

Where have you been
I was asked
On a quest I say
To discover myself through my past
To find my Magnificent soul

Was I hidden away
On this sojourn
On a retreat deep within myself
Shall I return
To find my Magnificent soul

Like a caterpillar
I crawled through my existence
Living without thinking
A passive resistance
To find my Magnificent soul

Then like a volcano
I was broken wide open
A butterfly emerged
I had awoken
To find my Magnificent soul

I discovered eternity
No beginning ~ no end
I was here before and I will transcend
To find my Magnificent soul

Life is so sweet
It flows with the ages
With a sweetness like nectar
My being it engages
I have found my Magnificent soul
.........

My Reiki hands search for the place they will rest
Tingling, humming, alive
On my spiritual quest
To calm and sooth my soul

The energy calls and I will submit
Channeling the flow
Through my body as I commit
To calming and soothing my soul

My heart starts to race
The flow is increasing
There is nothing to block it
As Reiki energy I embrace
Calming and soothing my soul

I hang in suspension
As I drop into myself
No thoughts, no feelings
Another dimension
Calming and soothing my soul

On a lake in a boat to and fro' do I rock
Weightless, senseless, thoughtless
I feel nothing but the flow
Emotions, health, spirituality all being unlocked
As I calm and sooth my soul

What a privilege I own
To self heal every day
With my beautiful Reiki
As I journey into the unknown
To calm and sooth my soul

Effortlessly, I move through each level
Embracing each feeling and thought as I go
My Qi, unblocked flows like a river
Thoughts, feelings and turmoil all settle
As I calm and sooth my soul

My soul cries out in ecstasy
You have arrived home it says
You have waited long years
Patiently ~ breathlessly
To calm and sooth my soul

My soul is calm, my soul is soothed
I rest in magnificent peace
In the arms of the Universe
I have been moved
And I have calmed and soothed my soul.

Seed Planting

How often I have spent time with a friend when they have a problem and then later think, " I wish I could do more to help them get over this problem".

As I continue journeying and embracing my Reiki, I am learning so much. Every day I affirm that I release all negative thoughts and emotions, embracing only positive. By doing this, I am planting the seeds of positivity in my emotional and physical self, thereby raising my vibrational level, so not only do I feel better, but I am better equipped to offer support to those who need it. It may not be with words, but simply by offering my presence.

Recently a dear person in my life came to me with a devastating situation. She is losing her best friend to cancer, most likely within this year. She has called me numerous times and always starts her  conversation with the statement, "you're so comforting to talk to, I just needed to hear your voice today". Her journey throughout these past weeks has been interesting as she replays back to me numerous times, the things I have said to her when offering comfort. The seed planting is taking root.

Another dear friend I spoke with yesterday is struggling terribly with the deaths of two family members. He cannot let go of his grief and the depression that comes along with it. We spoke at length and I relayed some of what I went through when I lost my mother. I remember not wanting to take off the cloak of grief and depression that I had wrapped so tightly around myself. I knew it was weighing me down, yet it comforted me at the same time. He too realizes the situation he is in, but is not ready to release it. I told him, he would release it exactly when he was supposed to. Right now, this is where he is supposed to be and what he is supposed to be going through. And once he embraces and finds gratitude for this pain, these wounds will strengthen him in his future.

I went on to share with him, how the Japanese in mending broken objects will aggrandize the damage by filing the crack with pure gold. They believe that when something has suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful. I'm planting seeds.

When I started my journey, I could never have imagined myself mentoring anyone, yet now, I find the opportunity to help others is constantly put in my way. I am starting to reap the harvest of the seeds I have been planting. Seeds of intention along with my desire to help others.

So do not wallow in self pity over difficult situations, people who have hurt you, wrongs that have been perpetuated against you, a past that may not have been perfect. Instead find the gratitude for these things. Your history is making you more beautiful and then you can start seed planting in your life.

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds that you plant
~ Robert Louis Stevenson

The heart is like a garden. It can grow compassion or fear, resentment or love. What seeds will you plant there ~ Buddha

A New Chapter

Tonight, I move forward in my Reiki journey as I open my home to a Reiki sharing and healing circle. I had been attending another Reiki group, when four months ago there was sudden and unexpected separation. Having this weekly giving and receiving of Reiki suddenly ripped away from me presented a very difficult period for me to navigate. As I pondered this situation in my life, the idea of leading my own group continued to infiltrate my thoughts. I started to think, why not? After all my ultimate goal is to mentor and teach. But ~ where do I begin, how do I attract like minded individuals, do I advertise, do I glean from my clients? These were all questions whizzing around in my mind.

What I didn't realize was that all I had to do was release my intentions to the universe.

It amazes me ~ there are no coincidences. When you lose something you value  ~ a relationship, a job, something you considered vital and integral to your life, you will suddenly realize something new that has been provided to fill the gap. And it not only fills the gap, but fulfills so much more than what you anticipated. And so it has come to be with my Reiki group. When my first group was removed from my life, I felt tremendous loss, almost a sense of grief. Last week a level II Reiki called me for a healing session. As we talked and shared, her interest was piqued to attend a possible Reiki circle in my home. As well a couple of weeks ago, I met another level II Reiki with whom I spiritually connected instantly. She too is very interested in attending. Now I look forward to having this circle with not one but three amazing individuals where we can share our love of Reiki weekly.

How blessed I am ~

These are the types of blessings that are given to us when we open to the power of intention. Spirit knows what we need, anticipates what we might need and provides when we need it.

The other day I was given a beautiful analogy on all that the universe has to offer being within our grasp. Think for a moment of the old game Kerplunk many of us played as children. All the marbles were loaded on top of a network of sticks which firmly held them in place. Imagine if you will, that network of sticks are all the negative thoughts and obstacles that you place in the way of receiving your marbles or desires. Changing your mindset to one of positive intentions will allow your vibrational energy to rise opening you to what was previously held back by your negative thoughts and obstacles. Then your marbles will come tumbling into your life fulfilling your dreams and desires.

Be realistic and expect miracles ...

Surrender your desires and wishes to Spirit, completely forgive yourself and others, accept that everything is as it should be, then release your intentions and believe that what you put out to the universe will come back to you. Believe me what will come back to you will be more than you can imagine.

You must learn a new to think before you can master a new way to be ~ Marianne Williamson 

Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change ~ Wayne Dyer

If you conceive and believe it ~ you will achieve it .

Cutting Emotional Cords

"Cutting cords doesn't mean, "I don't love you or care about you anymore." Cord cutting doesn't necessarily lead to break-ups or abandoned relationships. It simply means that you are releasing the dysfunctional parts of your relationships. Remember, fear is the opposite of love, and etheric cords (and all attachments) are created from fear”. Doreen Virtue

If you have decided to move on from a relationship and you find it particularly difficult to “let-go” it may be that there are emotional cords of attachment holding you back. 

An emotional tie between two people causes patterns from the past to constantly be relived. These ties are an open channel between you and another person through which energy and emotions flow without your conscious knowledge. On a very subtle level, you are literally “attached” to each other. 

Emotional cords are every bit as real as if you were holding one end of the cord and the other person in the relationship holding the other end. The only difference is that you can't see this cord but you can surely feel it. It can hold you back from moving forward in your journey and embracing your wholeness as a beautiful spiritual being.

If you are in a relationship that is draining you, holding you back or taking away your power, you most likely have emotional cords between you. Can you cut them? Yes, but care should be taken with a conscious awareness and respect for the fact that this is a process.

The first thing you need to do is to take a break from being around this person, given the intensity of energy that is flowing between you. Sometimes these cords reach across time and space, so we have to work with them at all levels. 

When we give our power away to other people, our relationship with ourself is dysfunctional and we allow cords of energy to tie us to those people. You can cut the cord, but first you must resolve the underlying reason why you corded to this person in the first place, otherwise, the cord will continue to come back. 

It is necessary to have some ties in every relationship, but it is vital to see the difference between a beneficial and destructive tie. Every day we exchange energy with friends, partners, parents, children, siblings, friends, co-workers, and acquaintances. Sometimes we may feel hurt, misunderstood, betrayed, judged, or insulted. Many times we are not aware of how much energy we give to these experiences which could ignite emotions such as fear, anger, or resentment. If we do not resolve and forgive these moments, we continually give our energy to these incidents and keep negative patterns  alive.

Are you unable to determine if you are energetically and/or emotionally tied to a person or situation? Take a moment to think of the person involved ~ do you feel an emotion rise up? Take note of what emotions you feel. Also how you feel after being around this person. Are you drained, are you feeling anger or just feeling off but can't put your finger on why? This shows that some of your energy is still invested in this relationship. 

Removing negative energies leaves us space for new harmonious energies to enter. When the energetic tie is cut, you will feel a sense of freedom or having a heavy burden removed. You may feel the effects physically, energetically, or emotionally.

Take your focus off the negative connections in your life and concentrate on the positive ones. By learning to recognize the healthy, nurturing connections in your life, it will become easier to identify unhealthy or depleting ones. The more you focus on the positive connections in your life, the more of these connections you will attract. By focusing on the positive, you may find some of the negative ties in your relationships will disintegrate by themselves.


Letting go doesn't mean that you don't care about someone anymore. It's just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself ... Deborah Reber

Letting go means coming to the realization that some people are part of your history, but not part of your destiny ... Steve Maraboli

Blessings and light ...