Writing Again

How I enjoy writing. When I put pen to paper I feel cleansed and healed as the words flow through me.

And so it goes ~

The pain of the past, simmering just beneath
The face she exposed to the world
Always there, churning and bubbling
Destroying her self esteem, her morals, her thoughts, her abilities
Deeper and deeper they went until she couldn't recognize them any longer.

What happened to this woman, what hurts, what pain, what grief
That left her wanting ~ health, happiness, freedom from the pain
How deep must she dig to release this pain
Can she find what she seeks?

She experienced abuse, she experienced death
She experienced the sting of betrayal
The bite of familial hatred
All working together to create that fertile ground for every negative emotion
Anger, resentment, self loathing, judgement, bitterness, envy
This girl was good for no-one.

Then one day ~ a change
She was brought to the edge but, could she take the next step
What was waiting beyond
Forgiveness, acceptance, self love, humility
All within her reach, yet could she release the past?

The cloaks of grief and depression were wrapped tightly around her
They had her locked within their grip
They comforted her, they eased her pain, they protected her from the world
Did she want to drop these crutches and walk ~ NO
But deep within she knew she must let them drop from her body as leaves must drop from the trees in autumn.

Shifting, awakening, changing at her core
Releasing ego, piety, anger, resentments
The list was painfully long
The pain was moving upwards and outwards ~ breaking the surface
Wearing her down, reminding her of the horrors.

How low were her vibrations
But now they were climbing
She felt the difference in her soul
She loved, she laughed, she embraced the wholeness of life.

Reiki became part of her journey
Introduced to her one winter solstice night
She felt the pulsing energy and knew she had come home
Her searching was over
Like a rosebud opening to the sunshine, she too was opening.

The fear of death now gone ~ replaced with peaceful acceptance
The horrors of a cruel God replaced with a Divine Source of unconditional love
She pondered her lives, previous and yet to come
How many lives had she lived, how many more would she live?
What gifts had she given, what gifts had she to offer the world?

A new life was hers ~ it was within her reach
The hurts now gone, replaced with unconditional all encompassing love
How could she have existed so long not in this state
Unaware ~ living but not living
Reiki had brought her this joy
She would forever be grateful for that winter solstice night
When she felt the energy in that hand in her shoulder
Waking her, changing her core, filling her up
She truly had come home ...